Sunday, October 23, 2016

My Heart Is Shattered

When it rains it pours. As many of you that personally know me, know that my little Sheltie (Shetland Sheep Dog) Gabby had emergency surgery last month. She was diagnosed with Pyometra, a very expensive but life saving surgery had to be performed, which she recovered nicely from.  Gabby had been having issues a few days after the surgery with a dry cough which I had been telling my vet about. The Vet said it could be allergies and to keep an eye on her because twice a year she gets allergies and she is highly allergic to flea bites, no fleas were found. Gabby kept coughing more and more and I didn't think it was allergies, but possibly Kennel Cough that she could have contracted while at the Vet's. I also told the Vet that she isn't eating and has lost weight. The vet had me bring her in on Monday  10/17/16, she also thought it could be Kennel Cough but wasn't exactly sure, she also stated that Gabby has a Heart Murmur which I honestly don't ever remember being told about. This is a new Vet that just joined my Vet's practice who was telling me this. 

Gabby was given Doxyiclylene, I was told that if her cough worsened to call the office. The vet didn't seem to have any real concerns about Gabby losing the 4-pounds but I did. Since Monday she had been throwing up the medication, not eating or drinking which really concerned me, red flags were being raised that something seriously was wrong. I called the Vet and told her about what was going on and I had asked if I should halve the medication, half in the morning and half at nigh? She thought that this would be a good idea and to let her know if this worked or not.  Gabby kept coughing and I would tell her to get a drink and put a bowl of water in front of her, she just ignored it.  On Thursday evening 10/21, I gave her the medication once again and twenty minutes later she was having issues breathing and she was whinny which she has never done before and kept pawing at my leg. I called the Vet's office immediately at 7:30 P.M., the receptionist said that the only Vet available was my own and that she was in an emergency and if Gabby got worse to take her to the Emergency Vet. Gabby progressively got worse, gasping and breathing extremely heavy,  I was on my way to take her to the ER, on the way she keeled over onto the front seat of the truck and started foaming at the mouth, gasping, I was falling apart driving and me being all alone made it 10x's worse. 

I arrived at the ER Vet's and was pounding on the door yelling for help, the techs at the ER grabbed her from me and told me to stay in the waiting room, I was hysterical by this point. 15-Minutes later the Vet there came out and said that Gabby was in full-blown Congestive Heart Failure and not breathing on her own and that she was basically drowning in fluid, her heart was extremely enlarged. She then proceeds to say, she didn't think she would make the night.  She grabbed my hand and softly said to me that there is nothing I could do or that she could do that would save her. She then told me how sorry she was.   I had to make the heart breaking, gut wrenching decision, to have my beautiful little girl put to sleep. I am so upset and pissed off at the same time. Why didn't my vet diagnose this? Congestive Heart isn't something that just happens in 3-days.  I stayed with Gabby and laid over top of her,  hugging and petting her, telling her what a good girl she is and how much I love her. She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes and drew her last breath.  Right then and there I felt like I had died with her.  I have cried over the loss of other wonderful pets, friends and family members, but I don't ever remember feeling like this.  I was so sick to my stomach I couldn't focus or even hear what the Vet was saying to me. I stood there crying-sobbing, looking at her lips moving while she was talking, but not hearing a word that came out of her mouth, it was like I was there but I wasn't.

Gabby was the best dog ever and I do mean ever!  Never did she do one thing wrong, I couldn't have made her more perfect if I made her myself. She had been by my side for almost 10-yrs.  Today would have been her 10th birthday. She was as beautiful as she was smart, she loved going for long hikes with me, taking rides in the truck, she mothered all of the animals domestic and wild that I would bring home to foster, rehabilitate or even some times kept permanently.  She was ever so gentle and loved my kids which are all grown now and she loved my two grand kids. There wasn't a person around that didn't give me a compliment when she was with me about how well behaved she was, and they were all shocked that she was never on a leash but stood by my side at all times.  I was always told what a beautiful dog she was and I smiled with pride.  If I was at my desk using the laptop, she would lay right by my side. If I was in the bathroom, that's where you would find her, sometimes howling for me to hurry up in the shower.  If I was sick, she'd be in bed with me. Any place I was she was there.  I miss her bouncing around barking wagging her tail when ever I asked if she wanted to go outside or if I asked her is Daddy home? (My husband) She knew by the sound of the engine of his van and would bark sometimes before I even knew he was here. She was my heart dog, that one special one that comes around once in a lifetime, not to say my other dogs and pets aren't loved, they are and were. She just lit up a room with that big personality in a little body.

Even the other dogs here at home, all 5, are walking room-to-room looking for her and I have caught myself doing the same. My little Capone (Mini Long-Haired Dachshund) has been whining. He just started walking after his paralysis in March which caused him to become paralyzed from the middle of his back down to his hind legs. We were so thrilled to see him walking, wobbling again and now this happens. Gabby was like his foster Mommy since he was 8-wks old.   Here's Gabby laying with Capone after he was first diagnosed with having Calcification of his Disc, which ruptured causing him to become paralyzed. Gabby stayed by his side the whole time and continued to do so until her passing. They were best friends.  

A few weeks back as many of you had read, Koda had to be put to sleep.  As upsetting as that was, he was old and had a good life.  Gabby on the other hand was still young and this has came as a complete shock,  it's so much harder to deal with and comprehend that my "Gabby Girl" won't be my side any more. 

Rest In Peace my beautiful girl, you made my life brighter and funnier with you around.  God must have needed an angel with four-legs, so he took you home.  You will forever be in my heart and we all miss you terribly.


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